


Stay With Me

by wishfulFeline



Category: Suicide Boy - ParkGee (Webcomic)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Bullying, Cutting, Healing, Huni gets worse but then gets better, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Recovery, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 01:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19937428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulFeline/pseuds/wishfulFeline
Summary: Blood. There’s so so so much blood. Soorim’s jaw hung loose and he quickly shoved the door open and stepped into Huni’s room. “Eeeeh!? What’s going on!?”A second step into the room answered his question and shook his very soul. “Whwwwhwhat!? No, no, nonononono!”Huni’s frail body, slumped over motionless on the floor. There was so much blood surrounding him the carpet couldn’t possibly absorb all of it, a puddle still visible beneath him. His eyes were closed and his mouth was agape and dry. Soorim rushed over to Huni, the wet carpet squishing beneath his sneakers. He dropped to his knees next to Huni despite how disgusting the rug surrounding him was, filthied with blood, tears, sweat, and vomit.





	Stay With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Immediately upon catching up on Suicide Boy I knew I needed to write something for it. I fell in love with my bond between Huni, Soorim, and Jaehoon, and decided to write something that would really put that bond to the test. What if one of Huni's suicide attempts was more successful than the others? How would the two people who cared about him most react?  
> For obvious reasons, enormous suicide attempt and cutting warnings for this first chapter. This first chapter has a lot of blood and vomit, so if you can't handle that please don't read this chapter.  
> If you yourself are considering suicide or self harm, please seek help immediately. I have been in such a position many times, and am writing this because it's a way to heal myself vicariously through a character I love. Remember there are people out there who love you. Remember the Soorim and Jaehoon to your Huni. And if you don't have people like that in your life, you will most definitely meet them one day, so please stay alive to meet them.  
> With that out of the way, if you think you can stomach it, please enjoy my fanfic! I'll try to update as often as I can. I'm looking forward to writing this!

It was the weekend again. It could always be relied upon to turn up after a horrible school week, which was every single school week for Huni Lee. With each weekend came another failed suicide attempt, typically, but lately things hadn’t been turning out that way. With Jaehoon and Soorim coming over so often, Huni hadn’t found nearly as many opportunities to hurt and try and kill himself as he once did. One part of him was overjoyed to finally have his empty free hours once spent sobbing alone now occupied with the company of friends. Yet, another part begged to be pierced open again, to see blood and feel the pain that he could control, unlike the pain thrust upon him constantly by life.

  
The date on the calendar reminded him like a knife in his heart just how painful his circumstances were. That cheery cloudless Saturday was the nine year anniversary of his mother's passing. A date he doubted anyone but he had bothered to remember. Did his garbage father even care enough to do the same? Probably not, Huni had assumed.

  
It was relatively early in the morning. Huni sat in the center of his bed, loose clothing sticking to his skin in the heat. He usually wouldn’t attempt suicide this early in the day, but with what day it was, he didn’t see why not. Plus, that meant that if it once again ended in failure, he’d have enough hours left in the day to try again! He would've told Soorim and Jaehoon not to come over if he could, but he had no way to contact Jaehoon and he was certain regardless what excuse he gave Soorim, the blond would still find a way to come over.

  
Huni shuffled through his belongings. There wasn’t much to look through now that his room was cleaner, and it certainly helped in a situation like this just how little he owned in the first place. He smiled to himself thinking how in death he’d be much less of a burden, that if someone who owned a lot of things died it’d take a lot of time to clear out their apartment. But not him, it’d probably take less than a day to have everything cleared out and tossed away. And once that was done, there’d be nothing left of him. Hell, they could just throw his body in the trash too, not like anyone would care enough to hold a funeral! Not like anyone would even bother to try and remember him!

  
Huni walked over to the bathroom and turned on the sink. The water was lukewarm, but that wasn’t a bad thing in regards to what he needed it for. He placed the pail under the stream and let it fill nearly all the way. It was a lucky find in the dump. Discovering a bucket without a hole felt miraculous. He turned off the water and his smile fell from his face. He’d never had good friends before. Would Soorim and Jaehoon be sad? He took a heaving breath as he lifted the pail from the sink to the main room. Maybe. They might be sad, but...they’d get over it. Soorim and Jaehoon were smart and had other friends and would become great adults and have successful lives. Not Huni, the hole he was in was too deep. He was too sad and tired to climb out. He had just enough energy to die, so that’s what he hoped to do.

  
Huni placed the pail full of water down in the open corner of his room. He sat down next to it, cross legged. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, unsheathing the boxcutter as he was so used to doing. _Okay, so last time I considered cutting deep enough to bleed out, it hurt too much. But, maybe like this I can tolerate it._ He bit his lip hard. Tears formed in his eyes habitually, preparing himself for the pain. _You’ve felt lots and lots of pain already, so stop fucking chickening out!_ He pressed his left arm on the edge of the pail. His breathing grew rougher by the second, panic already peaking despite not having even cut yet. His grip on the boxcutter in his right hand was fierce, arm trembling at the exertion.

  
He closed his eyes tightly and snapped “Just die already!”

  
The blade slashed across his arm. He shrieked in pain, tears already streaming out of his eyes, but he fought his instincts as hard as he possibly could and slashed again. The pain was so ferocious and all consuming that Huni felt like his brain was on fire. He didn't open his eyes, he just couldn't, he just sliced his arm again. _Soorim and Jaehoon, they’re my friends aren’t they? That’s why this is definitely the right thing to do! Because they’re good people! I’m garbage! I’m just keeping them from doing better things, they were better off before they met me!_

  
Huni bit his lip so hard he tasted blood, but it was hard to tell if it was from inside his mouth or from the blood shooting out of his wrist. Again. _Again. **Again.**_ He kept cutting, he’d never cut this deep before, he’d never cut so deep he felt the blade scraping against something hard before. He was shaking violently, and the blood caused the boxcutter to slip out of his hand. He gasped as if he had suddenly come up for air after being trapped underwater. His eyes shot open. He looked at his arm.

  
He managed to turn away fast enough to vomit in his own lap. Using his right arm he forced the left one into the water. The pain was so strong it caused him to wonder if he’d somehow managed to break a bone. He breathed violently, entire body shaking and sweaty.

  
“I-If I...h _huuh_ , if I just don’t look at it! It’ll be alright! Haah, haah!” Huni assured himself. He didn't try to move his left hand in any way. He was too scared that maybe if he tried it might not even work. The bucket overflowed just a bit, causing a thin stream to cascade onto the carpet.

  
_Is this it? Did I actually do it this time? Am I really going to die? Am I dying?_ Huni asked silently. He hiccuped and sobbed. He sat on the floor alone, covered in blood and vomit, on the anniversary of his mother’s death. He cried loudly, sobs shaking his entire body. He covered his mouth with his bloody right hand and bit down, trying to restrain a scream. The world was spinning.

  
Huni’s eyelids felt so, so heavy. It felt colder and colder, even with his broken heater and sweat so heavy it came down in droplets. _How long have I been sitting here? I should have set a timer or something…_ Huni’s dizziness made him nauseous and he vomited on himself again. Nothing but thick, foamy bile came out. He cried and coughed. He tried to look over at the pail and see just how much blood had come out so far, but the motion of turning his head was just enough to be the final nail in his coffin. He fainted from blood loss immediately. He collapsed to the side, knocking over the bucket too, blood pouring everywhere. He was absolutely drenched and it soaked into his carpet, staining everything crimson.

  
_I hope that I can at least tell my mother I love her before I go to Hell._

  
––––––––––

  
_Knock knock knock!_

  
“Huni hyung! Are you awake?”

  
…

  
_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

  
“Huni hyung? It’s way too late in the day to still be asleep! I brought you a sandwich, even!”

  
Soorim leaned towards Huni’s door to look through the peephole, despite peepholes not really working that way. Nothing.

  
“Huuuniiiii hyuuung! Meanie, I thought we were past this already! Open your doooor!” Soorim whined, hitting the door with both arms. No response still. He pouted and stood up straight again. _Could he really sleep through that much? Not unless he’s sick…_

  
Soorim stiffened at his own thoughts. _What if Huni’s sick? If he can’t afford his own food he definitely can’t afford his own medication. Maybe he can’t even stand up!? Maybe he lost his voice?!_ Soorim got antsy quickly. There’s not really any option he has but to break in...luckily he didn't need to do anything crazy, being the son of Huni’s landlady. He hurried over to his mother and explained to her his worries. Although she was a bit reluctant to let him bust into one of her residents rooms, knowing Huni’s situation, she handed Soorim one of the copies of the master key and told him to return it to her immediately after he checked on Huni. He agreed enthusiastically.

  
“Huniii! This is your last chance, okay? I’m gonna open the door!” Soorim shouted, cupping his palm against the door. Hearing no response once more, Soorim anxiously unlocked the door.

  
_Click._

  
He slowly opened Huni’s door, the sunlight brightening the otherwise completely dark room.

  
“Huni? _Is he actually just n––_ ”

  
Blood. There’s **so so so** much blood. Soorim’s jaw hung loose and he quickly shoved the door open and stepped into Huni’s room. “Eeeeh!? What’s going on!?”

  
A second step into the room answered his question and shook his very soul. “Whwwwhwhat!? No, no, nonononono!”

  
Huni’s frail body, slumped over motionless on the floor. There was so much blood surrounding him the carpet couldn’t possibly absorb all of it, a puddle still visible beneath him. His eyes were closed and his mouth was agape and dry. Soorim rushed over to Huni, the wet carpet squishing beneath his sneakers. He dropped to his knees next to Huni despite how disgusting the rug surrounding him was, filthied with blood, tears, sweat, and vomit.

  
Soorim grabbed Huni’s blood soaked arm to check for his pulse, but when he flipped it over he was given a view that would haunt him for a very long time. The mangled open flesh that greeted him caused the contents of his stomach to leap into his throat. He hardly managed to scramble towards the bathroom fast enough to vomit on the tile floor. He breathed heavily, but wiped his mouth on his jacket sleeve and turned back to Huni just as fast as he had scurried away. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around Huni’s left arm and held the fabric down on his wrist hard. Soorim placed his fingers against Huni’s neck where his jugular vein should be. Tears formed in his eyes in relief. A pulse, faint but still there. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and with bloody fingerprints called the police.

  
He didn’t know his voice could possibly sound so fearful, shaking and cracking as he rushed to give them the address and situation.

  
“Please, **please** hurry! I don’t want my friend to die!”

  
_No matter how much he wants to die himself, even if it’s selfish, I don’t want Huni to die. I can’t let him, or there’s no way I can even live with myself knowing I failed to save him._


End file.
